


love will be shaking, here we'll be waiting

by Shadowcrawler, unwindmyself



Series: follow me down the rabbit hole [10]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Arguing, Bondage, Established Relationship, F/F, Feelings, Femslash, Gags, Hurt/Comfort, Polyamory, Tribadism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-21
Updated: 2016-10-21
Packaged: 2018-08-23 18:17:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8337838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowcrawler/pseuds/Shadowcrawler, https://archiveofourown.org/users/unwindmyself/pseuds/unwindmyself
Summary: After Daisy returns to the team, she and Jemma have things to talk about.





	

**Author's Note:**

> An anecdote: as we were preparing to write this, Shadowcrawler assumed we were going to jump right into it, while unwindmyself had already started planning an outline. This is a pretty good illustration of how we operate and how much we relate to Daisy and Jemma respectively.
> 
> We're aware of the canon m/f relationship. We will simply continue to write around it. We think canon Jemma is probably mostly into girls but sometimes shit happens.

“Daisy?”

“Door’s open,” calls Daisy. She’s already in bed, and she’s not really in the mood for talking, but she knows that voice and she can’t say no.

Jemma is clearly in business mode when she enters, swinging an honest-to-god first aid kit in one hand and trying to look like she doesn’t have any ulterior motives for this visit. “I came to check up on everything,” she says, brusque in a way that means she’s really having to work for it.

Daisy gestures to her arm, which is now in a sling. “Check away,” she says, her own tone guarded.

“All right,” Jemma murmurs. She’s gentle handling Daisy’s arm, though she does have to extricate it from the sling to examine it more completely and she adds an apologetic, “I really don’t mean to hurt you, please tell me if I am.”

Daisy winces a little, but it’s obvious she’s trying to stifle her reaction. “It’s fine,” she says. She watches Jemma for a minute before adding, tone falsely bright, “Crazy how everybody just left my room the way it was. Nobody even bothered to do my laundry. Like, really? Hell of a homecoming.”

“It’s not as if we had time to plan for it,” Jemma mutters, sounding snappier than she probably intends. “Being as we didn’t know if or when it would happen at all.”

“Hey,” snaps Daisy, without meaning to, “I was _trying_ to protect you guys, okay? I...I didn’t want any of you to get hurt because of me.”

“That’s all well and good, but each and every one of us gets hurt constantly!” Jemma exclaims. “It’s part of what we do, and we all know that. I, for one, don’t go around blaming other people for my own bloody accidents and traumas, that would be mad!”

“Well, _I_ would blame myself!” replies Daisy. “If anything happened to you, because, because I was here, because I fuck things up and put people in danger…” She shakes her head.

“We all fuck things up!” Jemma shouts, eyes starting to water. “It’s called life! We fuck things up and terrible things happen and if we’re brave enough, if we’re brave enough we can hold out for the little good things between all the terrible and hope they’re enough.”

“Yeah, but have your fuckups ever _killed_ somebody?” Daisy asks, nearly shouting herself. “I can’t let that happen to anybody else, Jemma! If that means I have to be alone, fine! It’s worth it if the people I care about are safe.”

“As a matter of fact, yes!” Jemma hisses. “Not every time, but it’s happened. I know how that feels. Like it’s going to rip you in half from the inside out. But there are still people who care about me living, and that means I can’t just shut myself off from them. It’s not fair.”

Daisy shakes her head. “It’s not the same. Lincoln, he…” She pauses. “I don’t want anyone putting themselves in danger for me again.”

“I could do without anyone doing that for me, too,” Jemma declares, her voice quiet but still firm. “The guilt it creates… you’ve seen me wake in a cold sweat, sure that if nothing else the guilt is going to kill me. But it’s another thing where, where.” She takes a breath, trying to think of a reasonable way to say this. “If you, or anyone, is putting themselves in danger for _me_ , I expect to be extended the courtesy of being able to return the favor.”

“Yeah, well, I...I couldn’t take that,” replies Daisy, dropping her gaze to the floor. “Especially not you.”

“So you’d rather run from me than run that risk.” It’s clear by her tone that Jemma doesn’t agree with this, even though she knows it shouldn’t matter.

Daisy bites her lip, then says, “Pretty much, yeah.”

“Don’t I get a say, then?” Jemma asks, suddenly choking on the words. “Doesn’t how I feel…” She shakes her head, looking disgusted with herself for even thinking it.

“I just want to protect you, goddammit!” Daisy snaps. “You and the rest of the team, but especially you!”

“Did it ever occur to you that your so-called protection _hurts me_?” Jemma shrills.

Daisy sighs. “I’m sorry about that, I don’t want to hurt you, but I don’t know any other way to do it.”

Jemma shakes her head, furious though it’s not clear at whom, but she’s at a loss for words. This means that instead of replying, she squeezes her eyes shut and leans in to kiss Daisy, whimpering as she does.

Daisy, who isn’t really expecting it, groans into Jemma’s mouth. Once they both come up for air, she gasps, “Oh...so _that’s_ how it’s going to be? Piss me off as foreplay?”

“I’m not trying to piss you off,” Jemma retorts. “I’m just…” She shrugs. “I’m tired of keeping to myself how wretched I’ve felt, I suppose. It’s selfish, but it slipped out.”It’s not really a comforting thing to say, but she’s calmer in saying it, at least. “Kissing seemed safer.”

That makes Daisy laugh. “I mean, I’m not complaining,” she says, a little softer. “I missed...this.”

“Me too,” Jemma murmurs, ducking her head.

“More?” Daisy asks. “Do you want that?”

“Yes,” Jemma says, though she does seem to have to think about it for a second. “I do. I mean, if you want it.”

Daisy chuckles again. “I mean, if that’s not weird? I guess that might be weird, I dunno. I don’t want it to be weird.”

“Why would it be weird?” Jemma asks, frowning.

“Well, I kinda held you at gunpoint earlier. Um, sorry about that. Y’know how it goes.” Shrugging a little awkwardly, Daisy adds, “Plus, you’re...whatever...with Fitz.”

“Oh, god,” Jemma groans, putting her face in her hands. “It’s not what you think.”

Daisy tilts her head. “What is it, then?”

“Well, we’d kissed and then everything happened and then we kissed again and you were… Lincoln was around, I’m sorry, and I meant to tell Fitz that he wasn’t the only, but he’s so doting and innocent and then you _left_ and I didn’t even know if I would ever see you again so then technically for the time being he _was_ the only and I just wanted him back in some way and I love him! I really do, but I still don’t know if I’m _in_ love with him and I don’t think I am because that’s how I feel about _you_ and it’s such a different distinct thing and…” Jemma pauses, quite literally to get a breath of air. “I’ve made such a mess.”

Daisy reaches out, somewhat hesitantly, to put her hand on Jemma’s arm. “Hey,” she says, almost gentle. “Stuff happens. I get that. I just didn’t want to get in the middle in case you were, y’know.”

“We’re… something, but I’m not sure what,” Jemma sighs. “It’s different. What he wants is so much more normal and I thought that maybe normal wouldn’t be _so_ bad. Millions of people do that every day. There are worse things that could happen.”

Daisy snorts, then seems to soften. “If you wanted that, I’d understand. I know I’m...complicated.”

“Normal was better than pining over you,” Jemma says. “Normal was better than the idea of waking up alone every morning and not having anyone to… and that sounds horrible, because it’s not like I’m just falling back on Fitz. I want him in my life desperately. It’s just that he wants me in a very certain way, and I’d rather that than not at all, but I’m not sure it fits.”

“I get that,” says Daisy. “So...you’re okay with this?”

“Yes,” Jemma says immediately. “I’ll have to sort the rest of it out later, but I know I want you.” She swallows. “More than anything I want you. God, I barely remember not wanting you.”

Daisy’s not sure what to say to that - not that she disagrees, but it just feels like too much right now - so she just leans forward to kiss Jemma again.

Jemma whimpers, shutting her eyes and reaching up to push hair out of Daisy’s face gently. She never imagined she’d be the kind of girl who finds herself in a situation like this, but then she also never imagined she’d be one of the senior members of an international government agency that fights, among other things, aliens and Nazis. This is at least a better surprise.

Sighing, Daisy kisses Jemma several times before pulling back just a bit and asking softly, “So how far do you wanna go with this?”

“Whatever you want to do,” Jemma says, all shy and wide-eyed.

“Okay,” Daisy says with a chuckle. “Because, I mean, I haven’t felt much like doing this kind of thing for myself lately, and I’m gonna guess you haven’t been getting what you need from Fitz, right, honey?”

Jemma blushes and shakes her head. “He’s very… diligent, but he doesn’t think about intimate things the same way,” she admits. “He did build me this lovely toy, a sort of hybrid virtual reality-sensory deprivation viewfinder thing, but it’s not something he intended for… well.” She giggles, a little nervously.

Daisy starts to giggle too. “But you tried playing with it that way, huh?” she teases.

“I haven’t!” Jemma exclaims. “I just… couldn’t help but see the possibilities. It’s really quite lovely in a more regular context, too. Very thoughtful.”

“Good,” Daisy says, starting to pet down Jemma’s arm. “But you need more, huh?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Jemma whispers, biting her lip.

“What do you think we should do about that?” She’s missed this, knowing that they can take care of each other and that Jemma trusts her so much.

“Whatever you want to do,” Jemma repeats softly. “I’m… I’m yours.”

“Well then, let’s see what I can do about that,” Daisy says, shifting like she’s going to get out of bed.

“Sit down!” Jemma yelps. “You’re injured. You shouldn’t exert yourself.”

Daisy looks a little miffed, but stops moving. “So what do you wanna do?” she asks again.

“You can still tell me what to do,” Jemma says, almost primly.

“Okay, okay. If nobody’s been in here or gone through my stuff, there should be a couple things buried in the second drawer down. Go find them.”

“Nobody has,” Jemma promises, but with a nod she goes to the drawer and starts rummaging. “What would you like me to get out?”

“There’s a muzzle, and something like a collar with cuffs on the back,” says Daisy. “Bring those back.”

“All right,” Jemma says, quite obviously and happily shivering. She locates the requested items and turns back toward the bed, toeing her shoes off. “Should I undress?”

Daisy nods. “Please.”

Carefully, Jemma sets the things down on the bed, then steps back. She doesn’t do a striptease because that would be ridiculous, but she doesn’t just yank her blouse and pants off either. “Like this?” she asks.

“Yeah,” Daisy says, blatantly ogling. “You’re hot.”

Jemma laughs, almost bitterly. “Most days I just feel tired and fake,” she admits.

“Yeah, I get that,” murmurs Daisy. “But I think you’re hot.”

“Thank you,” Jemma hums. “That’s important to me.”

Daisy grins. “Before you get yourself rigged up, help me get out of my shit?”

“Of course,” Jemma says. “I’m just going to move your sling over here, and then…” She shrugs, placing the sling on a table and awaiting further instruction.

“My shirt? And my pants?”

Jemma nods, working to pull Daisy’s shirt off as painlessly as possible. “Tell me if I’m hurting you,” she whispers. “Up a bit?” So she can get Daisy’s pants pulled off.

“Not really. Those drugs you gave me finally kicked in,” says Daisy with a grin. “Thank you.”

“I’m sorry I can’t do more,” Jemma frets. “But you’re welcome.”

Daisy half-shrugs. “It’s okay. So now…I think it’s about time to get yourself done up.”

Jemma shivers again. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Can you get that gag on? As much as you can by yourself, anyway. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.”

It’s not one Jemma has actually put on herself before, but it can’t be so tricky to figure out. “All right,” she has to murmur before she picks the gag up and starts to sort it out. There are a fair amount of straps, like anything harnessy, but once it’s in the right place it’s easy to figure out. The ball on the back of the panel goes in her mouth, the straps meet at the nape of her neck, and once everything is buckled and tightened she looks inquisitively at Daisy.

“Good girl,” Daisy encourages. “Now, put on the collar and one of the wrist cuffs. I’m gonna have to help with the other one, I think.”

Jemma giggles (probably) and fastens the collar around her neck. She gets closer to the bed before she cuffs one of her wrists onto the strap hanging down her back, then very shyly slides closer still so Daisy can help her with the second one.

“Thank you,” Daisy murmurs, reaching to do so and then running her hand down Jemma’s back. “How’s that feel, good?”

Jemma whimpers in the affirmative, nodding. She kind of suspects Daisy’s motivations for gagging her weren’t entirely pure, but she honestly doesn’t mind. This is simpler.

“Okay, so lemme…” Daisy reaches behind herself to put a pillow flat on the bed, then lays down and nestles her shoulders into it. “C’mere,” she says once she’s settled.

Jemma tilts her head, trying to figure out exactly where she should position herself. She sits up on her knees carefully and makes a cautious mewling sort of noise, glancing at Daisy’s arm.

“It’s okay, I have an idea. Scoot in so you’re up against me, so we can rub on each other but we won’t fuck up my arm any more than it already is.”

Jemma’s next noise is probably a sigh of relief, and she arranges herself accordingly, scooting between Daisy’s legs and straddling the left one. Her own left leg is spread out enough that she’s splayed more-or-less over Daisy’s center, which seems good, but she hums a question anyway.

“There you go,” says Daisy, gently wrapping one of her legs around Jemma’s waist to hold her in place. “Comfy?”

Jemma nods, trying her best to smile and mumble out something pleasant.

“Okay,” Daisy replies, “so now…” She rolls her hips, sure Jemma will take the hint.

And Jemma does, mimicking the movement and leaning against Daisy’s leg for balance, but it comes over her all suddenly and the next sound she attempts is almost unmistakably an “I love you.” She’s not sure if that’s a good idea right now, but it happens.

Daisy pauses her movements before whispering, “I love you too, honey,” and moving a little faster.

Damned if that doesn’t make tears spring to Jemma’s eyes, but she can’t let them show, that would ruin everything. Instead she squeezes her eyes shut and relies even more heavily on Daisy’s leg to keep her in place, trying to sniffle and swallow her emotions as unobtrusively as possible.

“Hey,” says Daisy softly, “hey, you can do whatever you need to.”

Jemma whimpers, but she nods and lets a few tears fall. Not too many, but a few. It’s something she hasn’t let herself do in a while, and not in front of most of the team, so it’s meant as a compliment.

Daisy reaches to pet Jemma where she can. “You’re okay.”

Jemma nods as best she can, sniffling, and attempts a “thank you.”

Continuing to move against her, Daisy murmurs, “Thank _you_. You’re so good.”

Another nod, and Jemma rolls her hips, humming contentedly. Part of why she’s always loved doing this is that it’s so separate from the rest of her life, it’s something she can have without worrying about everything else because it takes her out of everything else.

Daisy keeps moving, listening to Jemma’s little noises for hints about when to speed up. “Good girl,” she says, “you’re so pretty.”

That makes more tears spring to Jemma’s eyes, which sort of surprises her, but she makes another noise of gratitude and agreement, followed by a soft moan that probably means _more_.

Chuckling, Daisy does her best to give her more, trying to rub against Jemma as firmly as she can. She knows this isn’t the most ideal position, but she wants it to be good for both of them.

And honestly, if Jemma knew that Daisy was thinking anything like that she’d be quick to promise no, no, it’s more than fine. It’s doing very nicely for her, and she hopes it’s working for Daisy, too. In those hopes, she presses her leg a bit more firmly against Daisy, doing the best she can.

Daisy notices that, and gasps, “Thanks, honey.”

That makes Jemma rumble, practically, pleased as anything. She wants more than anything right now for this to be nice.

Sighing, Daisy ruts against Jemma until she lets go and shudders, moaning loudly. “God,” she whines.

Jemma sighs, almost as relieved by Daisy’s pleasure as if she’d have come herself. It takes her a few more minutes, though, wrinkling her nose in concentration as she rubs on Daisy, and Daisy reaches to help, running her fingers over Jemma’s flesh.

“Good?” she asks.

Jemma nods frantically, rolling her hips against Daisy’s hand almost frantically.

“There you go,” murmurs Daisy, “good girl.”

They’re to the point where even if Jemma _could_ talk she wouldn’t be making any sense, and she moves and she moves until finally, almost squealing, she peaks and starts to lose her balance just a bit.

Daisy does her best to hold her up, murmuring soothing nonsense until Jemma calms. “How you doing?” she asks with a lazy grin.

Jemma blinks, apparently taking a second to make sense of the question, and to the best of her ability she shrugs, makes a cheerful sort of assenting noise. Everything is still quiet and easy.

“You can get in bed with me if you wanna,” says Daisy. “And I can undo the stuff, too.”

Jemma nods, almost shy, and tries to pull herself off of Daisy and rearrange appropriately, to where she’s kneeling on the bed demurely.

Daisy gets herself to a sitting position, only a little awkward, then reaches to carefully undo the cuffs (which is no small feat with only one working hand). “Did you like these?”

Jemma nods again, not even bothering to mumble an explanation. She’s to the point where she can’t, and that doesn’t bother her in the slightest.

“Good,” says Daisy, running her hand down Jemma’s back fondly and undoing the collar too. “Do you want me to leave the gag in for a bit?”

Jemma shrugs, this time _certainly_ shy. She’s happy either way.

“Okay, well, I think I will just ‘cause I might pass out soon and I don’t wanna accidentally leave you like this.” Daisy unbuckles it and gently eases the gag out of Jemma’s mouth. She strokes Jemma’s cheek with her finger fondly. “Thank you, honey.”

“Welcome,” Jemma mumbles, working her jaw a few times. “Wanna be, wanna be nice.”

“You are,” says Daisy, kissing her gently on the lips. “You good to lie down?”

“Yeah,” Jemma says, returning the kiss. “I… ‘re we okay?”

Daisy hesitates. “As okay as anything is right now,” she says, easing them both down. “I care about you and I want you to be safe.”

“But right now,” Jemma insists, because she can’t think about anything else yet. “Tell me right now we’re okay.”

“Yeah,” says Daisy with a nod. “Right now, we’re okay.” She runs her hand through Jemma’s hair.

That makes Jemma practically purr. “Okay,” she says. “Then right now, s’what matters.”

Daisy gives her another kiss. “Sleep now,” she murmurs. “We’ll figure out the rest in the morning.”


End file.
